Glam

By Annakay Wright

© 2010

Glam part 1

The lights faded and the audience left the club. Closing time. Another day had ended. It was somewhat sad, but I had other things to worry about. My feet hurt from the high heels that I danced in, my skin cold from the AC because I was only dressed in a pink leather corset and lace underwear with nude fishnets. I pulled on my robe and sat down behind my dressing room mirror and stared at myself, I am still shocked by the glitter & rhinestones that surrounded my eyes and the bright red lips; though I had been a Burlesque dancer for some time now. I love the old-fashioned tease along with the modern sound and music. It’s a great and fun job. Tonight was a long night and I needed some sleep. I lay my head down on top of my make up table and before I knew it, I was asleep.

Rachel, another performer and me shared the back room, but we separated it with a thin white and gold curtain. Therefore, when I woke up and heard soft whimpers, I knew it was she. Christ, not again! I thought she was finally getting over it. She had recently come out of a bad relationship. Actually, that was an understatement. The bastard abused her physically and emotionally and he never stopped until finally one day he walked away with half of their bank account and their car. She did not mind that much though, she was just happy he was gone. But she feared he would come back and that stopped her from having any real fun, besides performing. She once told me that on stage she felt as if nothing could touch her and she finally had some sense of control over her life. It really hurt to see the cuts and bruises that had cover her body. The finger marks on her neck from when he tried to choke her that she would try to cover with her white blond hair. Her clear blue eyes looked older than her 23 years.  It really killed me, I wanted to show her that love does not always mean losing yourself, she was so beautiful inside and out. She needed real love and I planned to show it to her.

Therefore, when I heard the whimpers, I knew it was another nightmare. I pulled the curtain and found her curled up in ball, fetal position on the floor. She liked to take naps here before she went home and back to school the next morning. She had out an air mattress on the floor and covered it with blankets before the fireplace. The light from the flames where the only light in the whole room. She looked so sweet and innocent. As sick as I may sound, it turned me on. I longed to hold her in my arms and show her how different love could be from what she had known. I ran my fingers through my brown curls and sat down on the side of the bed. I carefully lifted the blanket off her and ran my thumb down her cheek, catching her falling tears. Then straighten her legs and made her lay flat. She whimpered when I moved her and it just brought out something in me. I don’t know, a motherly instinct to care and nurture? She was still in some of her costume as I was. However, she had removed the dress and stockings. Leaving on a white lace silk bra and cream panties and bare feet. I kicked off my heels and knelt before her and lifted her legs so that her knees where arched. I ran a finger across her hips, along her bikini line and then slowly removed her underwear. She looked so small and beautiful down there. A little white diamond piercing, how badass!  I lowered myself and started to lick the piercing on her clit, feeling the rock and her flesh move across my tongue. I spread her legs a little more apart and push my way inside of her, tasting her. I noticed that she had stopped whimpering. The thought that I had somehow comforted her turned me on more. I felt myself get hot and wet. I started to unlace my corset and move my hands across my breast and rubbing my nipples until they became hard. I licked my lips, delighted in how good she tasted.

 Suddenly I felt a hand on top of my head, pushing me down. “More please,” she begged, “please, Ava, don’t stop. It feels so good and its been so long . I have ever felt more loved than I do now.”I put my hands on either side on her face, supported myself up, and looked into her eyes. I kissed the tears drops that ran down her face. She put her hands around my neck and pushed her mouth towards mines. The first kiss was so sweet, her lips so unsure of what to do. I knew this was her first time with a woman. I taught her what to do with my lips and tongue. Kissing her mouth, running my tongue across her teeth and sucking on her tongue she learned. Playing with her, a bit of tug of war started. We both laughed when I won, pulling her tongue into my mouth. She ran her hands down my back and leaned her head back. I kissed her neck, making little marks of passion everywhere my teeth connected with her skin. I put my hands behind her and unhooked her bra, she grabbed the straps and pushed the cloth to her chest and looked at me with big frighten eyes, timid as a lone stormy ocean.  “I won’t hurt you ever, I promise,” I said as I slowly removed her hands and let the bra drop to the floor. I put my mouth to the valley between her breasts and kissed her skin. Then I swallowed her breasts in my mouth, my teeth nibbling on her nipples. She grabbed the blanket with her hands, tilted her head back and arched her spine, biting on her lips. I grabbed her hips and pushed her body close to me, wanting to feel her heat against me. I licked the skin on her chest, my tongue circling her belly button and then I traced my way to back inside her. Nibbling, licking, sucking her labias she came undone. She moaned passionately, put her hands on top of my head, reached for my hands, & placed them on top her breast. I left one there and then used the other to push my fingers back inside her; one ,then two, and finally trying three fingers. She was so tight , but I knew she could hold my whole fist. I felt her fingers tighten in my hair. Then I stopped and stood up and took of my lace panties, I sat down next to her and we stared our naked bodies. She reached forward and took my breast in her hand. I stayed still and allowed her to put her hands all over me, exploring a woman’s body that was not her own. I grabbed one of her hands, pushed it lower towards me, and let her hand feel how wet and hot I was.   I lowered my head and whispered in her ears, “You did that”. Then I put her fingers into her mouth and them my own, staring into her eyes, sucking her fingers, licking my lips. She pushed me down so that we both laid flat on the bed. She put her head on my chest and her fingers circling my breast. I put my hands on her back, massaging away her trouble and fears. She reached down and put her fingers inside me , pushing in and out , my hands closed tighter on the skin of her back leaving little marks with my nails.

When I realized it, “Sorry, I think I marked you with my fingers.”

“No, don’t be sorry, those are marks of love, not pain. They are glamorous.” She told me, with a slight smile on her face.

I pushed my mouth to hers and kissed her.

Part 2

Dark Dancing

The music was intense. Even as I left the club, I could still hear the music pounding in my ears. My heart was racing, the words still in my head:

“We’ll haunt like Liberace
Find your freedom in the music
Find your Jesus….Baby loves to dance in the dark
‘Cuz when he’s lookin’
She falls apart” (Lady Gaga- Dance in the Dark)

Oh, that song was speaking to me. Tonight was great, I had found my independence and just danced and partied. Now it was 3am and time for me to get my ass home like a responsible adult. I walked to my car and something in the corner of my eye stopped me. HER. Damn, haven’t seen her in a while. She was Rachael Lee. Beautiful, shy, funny, sweet, untouchable. Why you may ask? Because she was not mine to have. Yes, we had that one passionate night when I kissed away her scars left from her abusive boyfriend. Notice that I said boyfriend, not ex boyfriend. Yes, that’s right….she went back to him. He told her to quit burlesque dancing, so she did. It was so lonely in my dressing room these days without her. I was heartbroken, I was in love with her and I knew she felt the same way about me. However, he kept us apart. I never really hated anyone before, but he was the reason that humans created the word hate. Moreover, I wondered how she could love him. The thought of them being together angered me and I walked faster. I was about to open the door, when I heard her say my name.

“Ava, wait up. I need you” was all she had to say and the anger faded .She had me in the palm of her hand, did she know?  I belonged to her, she was mines to love and protect. I turned around and tried to sound strong and indifferent. “Hey, Ray. What’s up?” was all I said, even though I had so much more to say. Why did you leave me? What does he have, that I don’t?

She looked up at me with those blue eyes and I melted. “Can I get a ride home, Ava…if it’s no trouble?”  That was not the response I expected.  It crushed my whole world to know that a ride was all that she wanted from me. I remember how she moaned my name and the taste of her in my mouth; I could barely stop the tears from falling. Funny, I was always her brave protector. Now she had changed me. I was weak with love when I was around her. I nodded and she followed me to my car. I got in, turned the engine on and she sat down in the passenger’s seat. I started to drive and just stare straight ahead. Neither of us spoke and the silence was awkward.  I took the first step, knowing she would not.

“How are you, Rachael?”

“Ok, I guessed. He’s out of town.” She looked at me.

I had my eyes on the road, but I felt her eyes on me. I did not need to ask whom she was talking about.  Her eyes tore into me and then I felt her hand on my skirt. She lifted it and exposed my bare legs and underwear. I stop breathing. She kissed my shoulder and put her hands in my brown hair that was loose down my back.  She slipped her fingers into my underwear and I felt her take my clit between her fingers. I moaned and tried to stay focus on my driving. Impossible! I pulled over to a parking lot near the beach. It was deserted, perfect.

I turned off the engine and then stared at her and where her hands laid. It took all my willpower to take her fingers out of my underwear and push her away. Shocked, she sat back against the seat. I pulled my skirt back down. And just stared at the waves. “You hurt me once and I refuse to allow you to do it again. You told me that you were over him and that we could be together.” I looked at her and the tears came. She raised a finger to my face and caught one. Then staring at her fingers she said, “I never meant to hurt you. I thought if I let you go, that I would stop myself from hurting you. It’s like everything I love, I destroy.  Our love was just too good to be true. Now it’s ruined forever. You must hate me. Maybe I deserve everything.” She started to cry.

I got out of the car. This was too much.  I needed a moment alone. I went to my trunk, took out a large blanket, and walked towards the beach. However, she was with me all the time, I couldn’t let her go I thought. I walked along the beach, not caring that I was getting sand in my shoes. I took them off and laid the blanket down. I sat and stared at the loud rushing waves, the salty smell of the ocean filled me and the cool night wind chilled me. There was little light except for my car’s headlights. I heard her walk up to me. I didn’t turn as she sat down beside me, hugging her knees into her chest. Her small dancer body was so striking. We were the same size, but to me she was tiny. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went behind her and hugged her, putting my head into her hair. She smelled amazing. She held my hands and I felt her body shake as she cried. We stayed like that for a while, holding onto each other, crying. We didn’t need to say anything; we both knew how the other felt. She raised her heads to mines and pressed her lips against mines. I sucked on her lips, taking her tongue into my mouth. I put my hands on either side of her head and tilted her back, pushing my tongue more into her mouth. Then laid her down flat on the blanket and positioned myself on top of her. Kissing her deeper and harder, pressing my body more into her. I felt her hands pressing into my back. Our tongues played with each other outside of our mouths, like two fencing swords. I put my mouth to her neck and nibbled on her skin, leaving little marks. She lifted my shirt over my head and pressed her mouth to my bra. She slipped the straps off and pulled it off me. I lifted my upper body, put my hands behind her neck, and pushed my breast into her mouth, moaning and biting my lip. With her mouth still sucking my nipples, she pulled down my skirt and underwear in one piece. Then she ran her fingers up and down my labias. I moaned and told her to enter me. She took her mouth off my breast, looked into my eyes, and kissed me, our eyes still open. I bit my lip as I felt her fingers enter me, pushing into me. I reached down laid my hand on top of hers and stopped her fingers.

“Tell me you will leave him, please tell me,” I told her

She didn’t respond. She put me in a seated position and kissed my labias, then took my clit into her mouth, nibbling and sucking. I arched my back and put my hands on her head, daring her to go deeper, harder. She stuck her tongue all the way inside me and began to come in and out me slowly. I had taught her so well. I slipped her dress straps off her shoulders and pushed the dress down her body until it was off her. I was pleased she was braless, so I could have her breast in my hands immediately .My fingers played with her nipples, I loved how they became hard at my touch.  I moaned and squeezed her breast. I came hard and sudden right into her mouth. She gasped and then giggled. She raised her head and looked at me, licking me. I heard the lyrics in my head again.

‘Cuz when he’s lookin’
She falls apart”

I knew what we had to do; she would never fall apart again.  It was time to stop dancing in the dark and come out into the light. We had to face him for the last time.

Part 3-Salvation

I parked in the driveway of Rachael’s & his house. She got out as soon as I killed the engine and opened my door, letting me know she wanted me to come inside with her. I put my hands in hers and walked with her to the house. My heart pounded as she opened the door.

“There’s someone I want you to meet, the reason why I stayed with him. Now I know, we do not need him. And that you are so much better in our lives”. She said turning on the lights of the kitchen.

She kissed me lightly and still holding my hand she led me to a bedroom. As soon, as I saw the pink lace curtains, the pooh bear character stuff animals and white crib, I knew whom she wants me to meet. Her, no….their daughter. I felt sick; I dropped her hand and walked out of the room. I backed into the hallway and against a wall. I crumbled to the floor, crying. I hugged my knees to my chest and put my head down. How could she do this to me, play with my heart this way.

“Ava, I’m going to pick her up from the sitter, ok?” she whispered into my ear as she knelt before me. She ran her hands through my brown curls. Then I heard her get up and go outside. I decided that I was not handling this well. Damn, this was an innocent kid after all. She was going to be my daughter after all, if Rachael and I stayed together. My child, not his. At that moment, I was willing to lay my life down for her and I didn’t even know her name.

Suddenly, I had to know her name. I walked into her bedroom, touching the child toys, the nursery rhyme books. Her white crib was made up with pink sheets and a fluffy white blanket. She was spoiled and loved obviously. She had to be less than one year I realized, from the photos I saw on the walls. There she was in Rachael’s arm during her first Christmas, Halloween, thanksgiving and most recently Easter.  The earliest picture was of a pink newborn wrapped in a white hospital blanket. Her eyes were closed and she had a little pink bow in her white blond hair, Rachael’s hair. She also had her mother’s nose, ears, and lips: I was glad that I did not have to see him in her. Across the picture, was written Katherine Marie Ava Lee November 12^th. She had my name; she was mines…no…Ours. She only 5 months old. That means when I was with Ray that first time, she was already 4 months pregnant. I held both of them in my arms.

Sometime later, “Who’s my little kitty Kat?” I heard Ray say and an infant’s giggle in response. She came into the room with a little angel with big blue eyes in her arm. Dressed in pink top and white ballerina skirt with pink socks, Katherine looked like the perfect child, pink bow in blond hair included. I couldn’t help myself; I reached my arms out to hold her. She went without complaint to me and laid her head on my chest. She smelled so sweet, I held Katherine closer to my chest. And looked to her mother. The relief was clearly written on Ray’s face. I went to her with and kissed her passionately. She put her hands on Katherine’s back and smiled at me.

“Our daughter?” she said.

I kissed Katherine’s head and said ,“Ours forever.”

I looked at the sleeping infant between Ray and I. Such a sweet a child, Kat was. She giggled and played  through her bath, feeding & changing. Never fussed or anything, even when we putted her to sleep.  I loved her so much, though I had only known her for a few hours. She sighed in her sleep. I putted her hand on her and moved my fingers up and down her small back. She smiled a little smirk in her sleep. I felt as if my heart would burst. Ray took her up and carried her out the room. I got up to follow but Ray signaled with her hand for me to stay. She returned without Kat and climbed on top of me. She kissed me and started to take off my clothes. I laughed and kissed her back. She was almost done taking off my shirt when we heard a car in the driveway. We froze.

“Shit..he isn’t appose to be here..he gave me full custody …I thought he would stay away for good…oh no..go to Kat’s room and lock the doors..” Ray said taking my hand and leading me out of the master bedroom. I went into Kat’s room and kissed Ray.

“Why do u want me to hide? I can face him…It’s us against him…We need to finish this “I took her hands and kissed her knuckles.

“I need you to keep our baby safe.” She told me with her eyes lowered. Suddenly I felt angry that he would dare hurt the two most important people in my life. I buttoned up my shirt and walked out of the Nursery even though Ray tried to stop me. And there he was. The black-eyed devil himself.

The look of surprise on his face made me smile.

“I want you to leave or else I will call the police.” I told him, calmly.

“Ava, sweetheart, long time no seen…What’s up? I’m just visiting my daughter.”

I laughed, bitterly. “Daughter, biologically yes, but you are no father when you give up custody of your own flesh and blood. Now I will repeat myself. Leave now.”

“Or else what?” he said leaning against the kitchen counter laughing silently.

“Or else you want to be arrested for Domestic Violence. In addition, I have proof. I have kept a calendar of the beatings and pictures along with videos of what you did to Ray “I said. My heart leaped when I saw his face pale.

“Shit. What the hell you want to do that for, I thought you and me were friends, Ava?”

“Oh you stopped being my friend the day you laid your hands on her. Now leave” I walked up to him and looked into his eyes, “And if you ever return, I will make sure to make your life a living hell.” He reached his hands out to me to grab my wrist. I flinched and then slapped him hard across the face. He fell to the floor from the blow. He touched his face, looked at me and then picked his self off the floor.

I watched him leave the house and drive out of our lives.

I heard a sob and turned around to find Ray with Kat in her arms on the living room floor. I ran to them and put my arms around her. “It’s over, it’s all over, sweetie”.